


Ever Since I Was A Little.... What?

by orphan_account



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Accidental genderswap, Gen, M/M, hobbit kink, i know its stupid, repost, shhhhhh lets pretend, the first fic i wrote after my hiatus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-26
Updated: 2013-02-26
Packaged: 2017-12-03 16:14:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/700161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a spell goes awry Kili is transformed into a dwarf maiden, and the company doesn't really know what to do with him... her? Written for the Hobbit_Kink prompt and posted there, I just wanted to have it here with all my other fic too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ever Since I Was A Little.... What?

It was only when a strangled cry rose out from the bushes that the company knew the spell had gone wrong. The relief that flooded through the dwarfs that they did not have to bear the consequence of the failed spell evaporated as quickly as it had arrived. What had befallen one of their own to make them scream like that?

The group ran over to the source of the noise, bracing themselves with thoughts of what could possibly had made a dwarf shriek like a hurt puppy. Almost immediately after arriving on the scene, Dwalin and Bofur, who had lead the company towards the bushes, were doubled over with violent laughter. They stepped aside to let the others through, and they too were overcome with fits of shouting laughter.

Fili and Thorin pushed everyone aside, knowing it was Kili’s misfortune that stemmed the mocking. Fili’s mouth hung open, no words coming as his eyebrows drew together and his gaze locked on his brother in front of everyone. But Kili didn’t seem to mind everyone making fun of his situation, didn’t seem to notice the dwarfs’ cries and hoots. He was too busy holding his pants away from his hips, gazing down into them at his crotch.

“Kili’s a maiden,” Bofur managed to twist his mouth into a serious expression for the time to inform Fili and his uncle of the predicament before laughter seeped back into his voice. “How’d you feel about havin’ a sister, now?”

It seemed to be true; Kili’s stubble had almost completely vanished, leaving only the faint fuzz of female dwarves, and while his cloaks didn’t become overwhelmingly huge, they fit differently, clinging to his hips and chest where they had fallen flat before. The angles of his face were smoother, his lips full and his shoulders were smaller, though it might have been because he was slumped forward staring into his pants. And although this would probably make everything a bit more difficult and a lot more weird, Fili appreciated the change, for now. He’d always wondered what having a sister was like.

  


Fili was woken by hushed words, spoken across the embers of the fire when everyone was thought to be asleep. He strained his ears to hear over the snoring of the other dwarfs and heard Kili’s voice, high with nerves and with a whining lilt. 

“….Knew this would happen, why didn’t you…”

“Because I did not know!” The other voice was Bofur’s, and it was weary and hoarse. “If we had known of this burden, we would not have attempted the spell.”

“What can we do? Is there any way to…”

“Not that I know of, Kili. The one we tried, it was supposed to wear off in a few days, after two risings of the sun, I think it was. We may have to wait it out.”

“I have to wait it out, you mean.” Kili’s voice was barely audible now. “While the rest of you have a laugh.”

Someone stood, walked a few paces and sat down. Then Bofur spoke, gentler and so faint Fili thought his ears would burst trying to hear.

“It will calm down. And I can speak to the company."

Fili pretended to sleep, allowing Kili to nudge him further off the bedroll and take his/her place for sleep. When his mind finally quieted and his eyes blinked shut, Fili threw an arm over his sibling and more than anything just wanted Kili to be happy.

  


“What happened to my pack? Where did everything go?” Kili bent over her bag, searching furiously for her things. “I should have the bedroll too, and I was to carry the water skins today. Where are they?” The dwarf men looked to each other uncomfortably, shuffling their feet in the dirt.

Finally Gloin spoke, though his eyes did not linger from his boots.

“We thought… We might share the burden of your pack until the spell has…. Reverted.”

Kili was confused, looking around at the company, but none would meet her eyes. “Why?”

Her uncle stepped forward, reaching forward to touch her arm softly. She pulled herself away sharply, and looked from her uncle to her brother, to all the men she had traveled with as her equal before.

“O Mahal save me, it’s because I’m a maiden.”

This made sense, really; the way everyone had been stepping around him, speaking in light tones and smiling calmly in lieu of replies to questions about the journey ahead. But he had dismissed it as the other dwarfs’ respect towards the aftershock of the spell, not what it had done to him.

“Give me that,” she snarled to Bifur, who had been tucking the contents of Kili’s pack into his own, and when she had reclaimed her share of the supplies, she fell to the ground.

Her body was on fire, crackling through her veins. Kili yelled, and once she stood up again, legs shaking, something was off. Her face was angular, with rough stubble and… The spell had worn off.

Fili ran over to his brother, threw his arms around him and whispered into his ear, “Thank Mahal you returned when you did. While we may be resourceful dwarfs, you would be on your own if your, uh, monthly week came around."

Kili punched his brother and picked up his pack. “It was strange, Fili, knowing you did not wish to bed me for a few days.”

“Glad that’s over with,” Fili smirked at his brother, rolling up their bedroll and sliding it into Kili’s pack.

Next time they were in trouble, they knew not to rely on Bofur’s “knowledge of magic.”


End file.
